Hard questions

“Thomas Edison’s last words were ‘It’s very beautiful over there’. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.” — John Green

When I was ten years old I lost a friend to tragic circumstances. Anna was on her way to girl scout camp when her mom, brother, and she stopped at a gas station to get a snack. She was getting a soda when a neon sign came loose and fell on her neck. She died instantly. 

Going to her funeral was extremely traumatic. Her family chose to have an open casket, and I can still see her in my head. I still remember how I felt; overwhelmed with grief and sadness.

I remember telling my mom her death wasn't fair. Why Anna? Anna was one of the kindest, most caring people I had ever met. She didn't deserve to die, especially not in that way. 

Ten years later I lost another friend. Scott had a way of making you feel special. He was friends with everyone; he didn't care if you were the coolest person or the biggest loser in the entire world - he'd still talk to you; he'd still be your friend. He was also one of the brightest people I've ever met. We used to hum songs for him, and he'd turn around and play them perfectly on the piano. When we all went to college I briefly lost touch with Scott, just like I did with a lot of people; certain that I'd see him when we all got together back home during breaks. Finding out that something had happened to this kind, amazing friend rocked my world and left me with a lot of regrets. Scott, like so many others, deserved to be here. He didn't deserve to be taken from us at such a young age. 

I've always known that life doesn't last forever, but it has been death that showed me just how short life really is.

I don't talk a lot about my faith and beliefs to people, mostly because they are mine and not yours. However, I've been asked several times, "If there's a God, then why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? Why do so many bad things happen to good people?"

My answer is simply that I don't have an answer to that question.  

Death has a way of making us feel powerless and weak; it leaves us asking questions we will never have the answers to.

Religion can be used as a source of great fulfillment and for people to do a lot of good in the world. We need more of that. We need people to love and help one another in this world that can sometimes be unfair and cruel. I commend people who use their faith for the greater good. 

But sometimes religion is not used for the greater good. It is used as a way to govern the masses, to achieve power, and to ascertain political status. But if you're asking me, that's not what Christianity is about. I believe there is a God, and that He has our best interest in mind. He is there when we need to talk and even when we do not. He helps guide us when we are lost; that I am sure of.

I believe in a God that practices love, for everyone. 

My point is that I've seen a lot of bad in the world and I've felt it personally. Life isn't always fair, but that doesn't mean God doesn't exist. I mean, you can't see love... love doesn't prevent bad things from happening, but that doesn't mean it isn't real. 

So, I've tried to come up with an answer to the previously stated question.

I don't know why death and bad things happen, but I do know that the hard times we experience help us to appreciate the good times. God takes people from us and that causes a lot of pain. And no, it's not fair; it's awful. One day I will find out why it happens, but until then it will teach me to appreciate the people who are still here with me. The people who make me smile, laugh, and even cry. 

I think that's what having faith is all about. Faith is about being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).